Outback oddesy
by 8annie81
Summary: A little blackmail and a disturbing news report sends the penguins to Australia to save a tempermentle kangaroo.
1. Blackmail

Joey hopped up to the fence of the penguin habitat where the birds were training.

"Hey!" Joey called.

Startled Private fell down and Kowalski grabbed Rico. Private recovered first. "Yes?"

"Joey wants you to get a sheila moved into his habitat."

Private looked up at him innocently. "Why?"

Joey flattened his ears and crossed his arms. "A roo gets lonely."

"Then why don't you socialize with the other zoo animals?" Kowalski inqired.

"Joey ain't that lonely!" The penguins just stared at him. He sighed. "Come on mates you should understand this, you!" He said pointing to Kowalski and Rico. "Have eachother and you!" He pointed at Skipper. "Have that little sheila across the way!" He pointed at Marlene who was grooming herself on a rock.

Kowalski scoffed and Rico yelled 'what!', but Skipper ignored them.

"What do you mean 'have that sheila'?" Skipper asked.

"What? You haven't got her yet!" Joey laughed. "You been at that tree a while!"

"What does he mean Skippah?" Private asked.

Skipper fumed. "Classified."

"He means-." Skipper cut Joey off.

"Why should we help you?" Skipper bit.

"Maybe Joey'll just start gunnin for that sheila cross the way." He said noding in Marlenes direction. "So you birds are gonna do Joey a favor right?"

Skipper growled. "Fine we'll see what we can do."

"Be sure you do. Joey don't take kind to being disappointed." He said glanceing at the otter habitat.

**Two hours later in the penguin habitat. Skipper was still grumbling to himself.**

"Joey don't take kind to being disappointed." Skipper mocked.

"Uh Skippah. You're standing on the remote." Private said timidly.

The tv was flipping channels and Private had seen it pass the lunicorns twice. Rico was sitting next to him hopeing it would land on destroy build destroy and Kowalski was calculating the odds of it landing on Jeopardy.

"Oh." Skipper said stepping off the remote. "You boys wanna watch the news?" He said flipping it to channel one.

Three voices grunted in response. He took it as a yes. An unfamiliar face was on screen. He had a thick Australian accent, thicker than Joey's.

"Geuss they finally got rid of Chuck." Skipper stated non-chalantly.

"The locals were fighten fearce, but they lost the reserve, while it's still open to tours it's huntin ground now." The Aussie news reporter stated. "And here are some a the fine beasts they'll be a huntin to extinction."

The sceen flashed by sleeping kowala familys, crocodiles, lions, cheetah's, and a mother kangaroo with a strange joey in her pouch. The Aussie man talked in the backround while the female kangaroo and her baby took up the screen.

"This sheila's had an albino baby. Zoologists fought to take her off the land, but the man who bought the land won't let em. Says her joey's a nice attraction to roo hunters."

Chuck Charles face took up the screen and the Kangaroo's shrunk into a little box in the corner. "You heard it here on channel one folks. The Khaki kowala was one of the last places harboring a rare albino kangaroo. The protection agencys fighting for her fear she won't last long with that beacon of a baby. And albino animals rarely survive in captivity. You heard it here from Chuck Charles channel one. Stay tuned for more up next."

Skipper turned off the tv. "Boys we have a mission-."

Kowalski scribbled on a note pad. "Already on it, sir!"

Rico barfed up a map of Australia that Private began to read.

Skipper smiled. "We leave first thing in the AM."


	2. Kyle

After discovering they would have to take the subway to the airport the penguins improvised a human disqise including a trench coat, grabber claw hands and their spell game to do the talking. It got them through the subway and too the airport where they hid under the luggage convayer belt while Rico ate their disquise. Then they belly slid past security and into the cargo bay. Once there they hid in suit cases. Rico jumped into a sports bag, Skipper unlocked a brief case, Kowalski zipped into a backpack, and Private timidly slid into a golf bag. Six hours later they landed in Cannberra where they dispersed to search for a method of transportation. They each had a walkie talky. It wasen't long before Rico's garbled voice erupted from each of the devices.

"Top marks Rico. Well boys looks like Rico just found us a ride!" Skipper said.

They met Rico in a lot near the airport. Rico was jumping up and down by a motorcycle being very Rico...

"Sorry Rico. Four penguins can't just cruse down the street on a motorcycle."

"Aww."

"Spread out boys. Use the walky talkys if you find something."

Skipper rejected a huge van with 'ten inch rims, a satalite tracking system, and cup holders' that Kowalski suggested and a golf cart that Private said he knew how to hot wire. Finally they settled on a gray car with blacked out windows.

Private read the maps, Rico worked the brakes, Kowalski handled the gas and Skipper steered. Skipper decided they weren't going fast enough so he let Rico handle the gas. They got to the reserve in three minutes.

Private stummbled out of the car and puked in a bush. Kowalski fell out, Skipper hopped out good as ever, and Rico jumped out whooping and fist pumping.

"Alright boys. The outback." He spotted a tour. "Lets see if we can't get a tour. Rico! Knock knock time!"

Rico slid up behind the tour car and laid a tac under the back tire. He gave a thumbless thumbs up and slid behind a bush. When the tour guide stopped talking about the dingos and inched the car forward the back tire burst. While the tourist and guide trecked back to camp Rico patched the tire and motioned the other penuins over.

"Top marks Rico!"

Hi fives were passed around. Then they sped off. Private pointed them in the direction of the kangaroo herd. They stopped on a ledge above the herd and looked for the female with the special baby. Once they'd spotted her they slid down the cliff and stopped right in front of her.

"Hi! We're here to- oomf!" Private was kicked against the ledge.

"Hey! What choo doin that for!" Rico hollered. The kangaroo kicked him too.

Kowalski and Skipper shared a look then lunged at the kangaroo. She slapped Skipper away with her tail. She caught Kowalski and reared an arm back to punch him.

"Wait! We're trying to help you!"

"Oh really!"

Private stood. He dusted the rock from his feathers. "Yes, love we're trying to get you out of here before the hunters can."

"Oh those poachers. They'll never catch me!" She pointed to herself with her thumb. "This here is pure outback woman."

Rico wolf whistled. Skipper slapped him behind his head.

"Thank you."

"Can I come out now mom?" The white furred roo poked out of her pouch to his nose.

"Stay put Kyle, I'm talking to people."

"But moooommmm!" He cried.

"Quit that!" She pushed the joey roughly into her pouch.

Private took a step forward. "I'm sure you could take care of yourself, but you see we kind of need you-." Skipper slapped the back of his neck.

"What he means is." Kowalski interupted shooting a glare at Private. "That your joey could be vital to the study of the absence of melanin. How deeply the chemical affects creatures to see if we could help him live longer."

The kangaroo looked down at her fussing joey. "You could help Kyle?"


	3. Track or be tracked

**Hey Kukipye what I meant in that line was Private was going to tell her that they were bringing her to Joey, but that wouldn't convince her would it? So Kowalski butts in to say it's a rescue mission for Kyle and it kinda is. The thing about melatonin and that sciencey sounding stuff is actually what causes people and animals to be albino.**

"I mean not that I couldn't do that myself or anything!" The kangaroo cried.

"No! We don't think that at tall!" Private said reasuringly. "We just wanna help the little fellow!"

She narrowed her eyes. "How do I know I can trust you?" She hopped exitedly. "Wait I know! Stay here a few days! If you're not what you claim to be I'll see through you lickity-split!"

"So you want to investigate us?" Kowalski asked.

"Yes! I can already tell that...he's the smart one!" She said pointing to Kowalski who puffed up proudly. "He's in charge!" she said pointing at Skipper. "He's as sweet as can be!" Private giggled. "And he's...he's uh..."

Rico threw up a chainsaw and carved a cactus to look like Kyle who sqealed in delight.

"You're the crazy one...well we all need one of those don't we..."

Kyle hopped from her pouch. "That was awsome!"

The older kangaroo panicked. "Kyle! Get back in my pouch now!"

"Geeze Mom calm down."

"Kyle I mean it! Come here right now!"

"Fine." Kyle said hopping over to the older kangaroo. "I don't see what the big deal anyway."

A bullet whizzed past his ear and into the cactus look alike Rico had carved. The older kangaroo grabbed her baby and hopped off with him.

Dissapointed a hunter slapped his hat on his knee. "Damm! Well at least Ican still nab me some birds." He said cocking his gun and aiming for the penguins.

"Take him down boys." Skipper said slideing at the hunter.

Kowalski and Rico slid in opposite directions.

The hunter fired a few rounds at Skipper who dodged as Private snuck up behind him to deliver a knock out blow to the back of his neck. Once Private had taken him out they dragged him behind a rock for cover.

"Well boys, looks like we'll have to find another Kangaroo for Joey."

"But what about Kyle! He won't make it in the wild!" Private cried.

"I agree with Private, Kyle does have a lower surviveal rate, with his coloring and possible anhidrosis."

"Wha?" Rico grumbled.

Skipper rolled his eyes. "In english Kowalski."

"He looks funny and he can't sweat." Kowalski said in a bored monotone voice.

"Well thats not a very nice thing to say!"

"I know thats why I didn't say it like that!" Kowalski huffed.

"If we want to catch that kangaroo again we're gonna have to get cracking. Its nearly seven hundred hours! Rico!"

Rico dropped to the ground and started smelling. He stopped when he got to a footprint and started hopping up and down. Kowalski picked up a clod of dirt from the print, smelled it and licked it.

"Well its not a kangaroo." He concluded.

"What is it?" Private asked.

Whatever it was let out a low growl as it crept up behind them.


	4. No just means yes Skipper

Private yelped.

"Flightless bird. My favorite." A creature with Yellow eyes said hungrily from the bush. The creature chuckled.

"Show yourself!" Skipper said snapping into a defensive position. The creature drug itself out of the bush. Skipper's eyes widened. "Sea lion!" He yelled. He and his men slid away.

Talking as they slid. Skipper asked shocked. "Kowalski we're no where near the sea! What's your analysis?"

"It is rather strange for a Neophoca cinerea to be this far on land. Did the rest of you notice he had very bad sunburns?"

"Yes I did, and he was panting, but what is a Neophoca cinerea?"

Kowalski scoffed. "Iggnorent young Private. That is the scientific name for sea lion. You see each subspecies is given a binomial nomenclature or scientific name composed of the animals genus and-."

"Kowalski quit boring the private and give us sea lion defense opptions already." Skipper said sounding a tad annoyed.

The penguins slid around a corner. "He should be rather defensless on land and in this sun I don't calculate he will last very long."

Skipper wiped off his flippers as if done with the situation. "Good. Now we can get back to our primary goal."

"But Skippah Kowalski said the sea lion might die!"

"Correction, will die-."

"Private!" Skipper groaned. "It's not our problem."

The smallest birds eyes grew watery and he looked up at his superior.

Skipper tried avoiding his pleading look. Finally he scowled and sighed. "Fine, Private. We'll get that big hunk of blubber back to the sea."

"You'd help someone who could eat you?" The mother kangaroo asked peering from behind a large boulder.

Private beamed. "We help everyone! We even fight crime and go on secret miss-!" He rubbed the back of his neck.

Skipper dragged a flipper down his face. "Private." He said harshly. "Ixnay the issions-may!"

The female kangaroo thought for a moment. "Hmmm. Tell you what I'll help you with your little mission."

"Not happening. No way, no how!" Skipper said sounding final.

Kowalski pulled Skipper away from the others and put up a flipper shield. "Sir, she is testing us. Maybe seeing us in action will affirm her trust sooner."

Skipper rolled his eyes. "I still say we're wasting our time helping that carnivore out."

"Do they know we can hear them?" The albino joey whispered to Private.

Giggling Private answered, "It seems like it would work. Kowalski came up with it."

The young roo pointed to Rico, who was playing with a toy car he'd regurgitated to amuse himself. "Is that Kowalski?"

"No that's Rico."

"Oh, well I think he's cool!" He told Private excitedly.

"Yeah Rico is pretty cool." Privates eyes widened as Rico managed to de-wheel the car and make realistic brake screeches. "However frightening." He gulped. "He's Kowalski, the taller one. I'm private."

"My name's Kyle. What's that guys name? The angry one." Kyle said motioning to Skipper.

Private chuckled. "That's just Skipper. I don't think he's really angry he just worries a bit."

"Oh." Kyle said taking this in. Then he looked up at the older kangaroo. "I like'em, mom!" He told her enthusiastically.


End file.
